


If I Had You

by Mystery_Lady



Series: Bichie AUs [4]
Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Deadpool Thought Boxes, Deadpool!Richie, Explicit Language, M/M, Spiderman!Bill, Spideypool!Bichie, Thanks to Richie, Yellow and White are Assholes, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 04:58:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13651902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystery_Lady/pseuds/Mystery_Lady
Summary: “You know, I have a question for you pretty boy.”Bill stares at the other male curiously, “Wuh-what’s that Richie?”“How come when you’re in you’re in your super tight suit—which you definitely copied from me but since it’s you, I’ll let it slide—and your fine ass is swinging from building to building and fighting other morons; why don’t you stutter when you’re kicking ass?”“B-b-beep beep Richie!”OrAn AU fic in which Bill is Spiderman and Richie is Deadpool; the Merc with the Mouth.





	If I Had You

**Author's Note:**

> Since I love Bichie and I love Spideypool, why not combine my two favorite things together? :3
> 
> I'm sorry that this is short but I'm battling with writer's block and I wanted to post this on the last day of Bichie week. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Bill, Richie, IT, Spiderman, or Deadpool (or his horrible thought boxes).

_ If I Had You _

“You know, I have a question for you pretty boy.”

Bill stares at the other male curiously, “Wuh-what’s that Richie?”

“How come when you’re in you’re in your super tight suit—which you definitely copied from me but since it’s you, I’ll let it slide—and your fine ass is swinging from building to building and fighting other morons; why don’t you stutter when you’re kicking ass?”

“B-b-beep beep Richie!”

“It’s the truth! You sound so confident and suave, you still do by the way, but you don’t stumble over your words.”

“Why d-did I ruh-reveal my i-i-identity to you a-again?”

{Because you were blinded by your gratitude and your misplaced love in this buffoon that it clouded your judgment. There’s no turning back now pretty boy.}

/Because you wanted our dicks!/

{We’re boxes, we don’t have penises!}

/We don’t but he does!/

“Because you trust me?” Richie asks hopefully, hiding his uncertainty with a wide grin.

Bill huffs as he runs a hand through his hair, in which was messy thanks to his mask, as he eyes the taller man in front of him. Smiling in bemusement, he answers, “Yes Richie. I trust you.”

 _You didn’t stutter!_ Richie almost pointed it out but thankfully, he kept his mouth shut.

“As f-for your fuh-first question: I c-c-created a tiny voice b-box inside my muh-mask that wuh-would hide my s-s-speech i-impediment.”

Richie gasp in awe and astonishment, “My pretty boy is a genius~”

Bill shrugs, lips spread into a bashful smile and a soft blush on his cheeks.

“But Bill, are you sure? You’re not regretting revealing your identity to me are you? I know you valued your privacy a lot.” Richie inquires gently. He didn’t give a rat’s ass if people knew about his identity, they were going to do die either way before they could kill him or try to blackmail him although he’s been trying to hold back in killing people due to his new change of lifestyle and for Spidey’s—no, Bill’s sake.

But Bill is different thing entirely. He knew the younger man prefer his privacy and was carefully guarded over himself and those around him. He never wants to make the man he’s in love with unhappy or uncomfortable.

He was going to ask again but then he feels a gentle hand on his cheek. He had forgotten that he had taken off his mask…

He wanted to pull back, hide his face, his disgusting face that not even his own mother would love. How can he be so delusional to believe that this beautiful man would be in love with a broken, used, scarred man like him?

{And now I think you just made yourself sad…}

/Congratulations, this is a new record. It only took two hours to do a pity party./

“Richie?”

Snapping his attention back to the auburn male, he smiles weakly, “Yeah Bill?”

“You kuh-kinda left muh-me for a muh-moment there.” He responds calmly, his smile tender, “And to a-answer your s-s-second question: No, I have no r-regrets. I wuh-was ready to ruh-reveal myself to you.”

Richie smiles back, hesitantly raising his hand and placing his hand on top of the one that was still on his cheek.

And then Bill smirks, “B-besides, how c-can I ask you on a d-date if you d-don’t even nuh-know who I am?”

Eyes wide, Richie stammers, “D-d-d-date?!”

Giggling, Bill gets on his tippy toes and presses his lips against Richie’s.

~~Richie.exe has stopped working~~

Before Richie could even get into the kiss, Bill pulls back, a smile still on those kissable lips before he puts on his mask.

“I’ll talk to you later Deadpool. If you’re free on Friday, maybe we can go and take a bite at Mike’s café?”

Richie was finally able to snap out of it to respond, “You bet your sweet ass pretty boy!”

With a laugh, Bill flicked his wrist, a thick line of web shooting out. Without a second glance Bill takes off, jumping from the edge of the building and whooping loudly as he swings and snaps his other wrist.

Richie continued to stare at the retreating figure, a wide and love-struck grin on his face. 

{He actually touched you? And he actually kissed you!}

/Since he kissed us, does that mean we’re in engaged!?!?!/

Richie completely ignored the boxes—for once—eyes shimmering as he looks at the night sky.

He might not be the most attractive guy, thanks to his mutation—fuck you Weapon X—and his cancer, nor was he the sanest but if Bill could see all that and honestly not give a fuck? Well, he’s pretty damn lucky!

/Are we still going to jerk off to him now? Especially since now we know what his face looks likes?/

“Yellow, I’m astounded by your audacity. What the fuck do you take me for? Do you actually believe that I’m going to disrespect my boy Spidey by playing with my pickle all the while daydreaming about his face?”

{Yes.}

“No one fucking asked you White!”

/But in all seriousness, we are going go to do it?/

Richie remain silent, eyes looking up at the night sky again as he stares at the beautiful full moon and the stars that twinkled weakly due to the lights of the never sleeping New York city.

“No, at least not yet, not without his consent.”

{Oh my god...}

/He’s fucking whipped!/

Putting on his mask, Richie continued on ignoring the boxes, taking in the small blessing in that as he eyes the edge of the building; thinking the pros and cons about whether or not he should jump down from the building.

God, why today had to be Tuesday!


End file.
